Janell Loving
Weddings are one of
the most magnificent details in the experience of our shared life, so
why do we cringe when asking about the actual plans, or at the
thought of being involved in the preparations for a wedding?
Planning a wedding is often compared to having two full time careers,
or preparing to run a marathon. With that in mind, it only makes
sense that the need and desire to balance body, mind and spirit
during this crucial time is imperative. Below are some strategies and
thoughts to assist in finding moments of quiet to work with the ebb
and flow of balance during this enchanting time.
Body Needs
Our body needs
food, sleep, hydration and exercise. For most, we are deficient in
at least one if not several of these areas. If the body is out of
whack, everything else will generally begin to follow that path
fairly quickly. Keep the body tuned up and in optimum health with a
balanced diet including healthy snacks, adequate sleep, proper
hydration and physical exercise. One way to encourage healthy snacks
is to add the idea to your daily task list. Reminders to snack on
veggies, fruit and nuts and drink some water will make it easier to
incorporate them into the daily routine and not get swept away in the
chaos and details of the wedding. To encourage adequate hydration,
try adding a lemon, lime or cucumber wedge to your water bottle in
the morning to encourage more water consumption throughout the day.
These little reminders will help to increase your awareness and
remind you to breathe a little and focus on something other than the
endless tasks on your list.
There is always
something that is desperate for our attention, and encroaches on the
precious commodity of sleep. Wedding planning takes that 'something'
and morphs it into a million crazy things that have imminent
deadlines. Try finding 20 minutes in the day for a power nap. It
will not replace the need for regenerative rest, but it will allow
the body to find a balance and recharge for the next push in the day.
The body needs energy, especially with the added activities and
pressure of wedding planning, so get moving. Exercise can be as
simple as taking the stairs at the office instead of the elevator, or
as organized as a weekly yoga class. Work within your daily schedule
to think of ways to move. Exercise creates the energy needed to
tackle the endless task list and maintain a modicum of sanity while
planning a wedding.
Mind Needs
Emotional Strength.
Weddings are nothing if not emotional – before, during and after. Some of the best
advice I have heard to maintain emotional balance during the wedding
chaos is - clarify the wedding you truly want, try to stay centered
and set clear boundaries that you can be comfortable and at ease with
when issues arise. The reality is that weddings tend to be for other
people, but marriage is for the two of you. Focus on what your
marriage will mean to you. Embrace the awareness that you are
embarking on a journey of evolution from one part of life to another,
honor and address the emotions that arise. Trust they are natural and
pay attention to any issues that may require support or counseling.
It is important to stay on top of your emotions and be honest with
yourself during this time. Consider how much power the actual wedding
day carries for you – this is an important question to ask and
understand in order to balance the needs of the mind. The best
advice I ever received was this, 'the wedding does not create the
marriage, it is the celebration of love. The perfection we seek comes
from acceptance of the best qualities in ourselves, that we in turn
bring out in each other.'
Spirit Needs
Spirit is a
difficult concept for most of us in a relationship. It embodies the
development and growth of the relationship, but also self
realization and independent maintenance that is crucial to our
well-being. In any
relationship the development of a spiritual bond and defining of the
spiritual aspect creates a foundation of understanding and the path
for growth. Spirit can be strengthened through knowing how to love
and honor self. This may seem a bit obvious, but in a relationship,
it is difficult to learn where the love for another ends and the love
for self begins. In the chaos and excitement of planning the wedding,
this becomes an even bigger challenge. My favorite way to approach
this is based around the principle of the Hindi salutation 'Namaste'
– 'The spirit within me recognizes and honors the spirit in you.'
Take time in each day to determine what your individual needs are
and what your needs are within your relationship. It is easy to
swing like a pendulum in this crazy time. Try to find 15 minutes to
reconnect daily with your inner needs and the needs of your future
spouse, to ensure that you are enabling a balance of spirit for
yourself and your relationship.
Balance is a
process of constant change and adjustment. The mistake that many of
us make is to keep things on one specific course, and not allow for
the ebb and flow that happens from moment to moment. This is
certainly evident in planning one of the biggest days of our life.
Managing the minutia of the event, and the emotional responses of
oneself, and those intimately connected to you and the wedding are a
challenge. We know inherently how to move with the ebb and flow of
balance in our lives, if we pay attention to the body mind and
spirit. Understand what your needs are. Seek balance for the body
through gentle nurturing and self care. Create balance in the mind
through engagement with your network of resources. Observe balance
of spirit in yourself and your partner by allowing the quiet
understanding of oneness. Trust in what you need as an individual,
what you need as part of your newly established couple, and remember
that you are the author of your love story.
