Kathleen Gardenswartz
There
is nothing more intoxicating than the beauty of a calm and radiant
bride. Be aware, stress will diminish every aspect of this joyous
occasion, one that is arguably the most important day of your life to
date. A commitment to managing your pre-wedding stress will welcome
the joy, happiness and peace into this most blessed day.
For
many brides, it feels like pre-wedding stress is out of their
control. In their mind, stress is baked into the wedding process,
because there will never be enough time, money, support and resources
to accomplish your dream wedding. When the bride attempts to take it
all on while feeling a lack of control it becomes overwhelming.
The
key to managing pre-wedding stress is acknowledging that you do have
complete control of your wedding and a willingness to kick your
perfectionism out the door.
The
simple words “I am in control of my life and wedding” create a
profound and powerful foundation for managing pre-wedding stress. It
means that you must let go of “perfect” and instead strive for
balance in the process. You can effectively manage your thoughts,
schedule and create an effective plan for the challenges that will
come up during wedding preparations.
Keep
in mind that delegating some wedding planning can be scary to
perfectionists. They can’t imagine anyone managing and executing
the plan better than them.
The
revelation that there are many ways to accomplish a wedding project
is very important in managing your stress because it allows you to
let go of perfection and give room for something great. Delegating is
freeing and you might actually learn something if you stay open to
the process. In the end, it’s still your wedding but you will have
an opportunity to enjoy it more fully by letting go.
Identify
the internal/external sources of stress in your life.
Can you see the sources of stress that are self-induced? Are you
taking on every aspect of the wedding or managing the details by
procrastinating until the last moment? Perhaps outside forces, like
a person or the location of the wedding are creating unnecessary
stress in your life?
It
is critical that you identify the sources of your stress so you can
look for solutions in managing them.
Take
responsibility for stress and your part in making it worse.
Taking responsibility will give you power and control to resolve any
stress that comes from wedding planning.
Identify
your current stress coping mechanisms. Don’t
judge yourself or others; it is common to react to stress with
unhealthy behaviors that compromise your health. Unhealthy coping
can include the inability to sleep, eating poorly or resuming old
habits like smoking and drinking. In this moment, don’t be
concerned with how you “should” be handling it; just write down
how you cope with stress right now. Once you become conscious of how
you currently handle stress you can look for new ways to manage it.
Incorporate
healthy stress management habits. Think
about each wedding stressor and determine whether you need to change
the situation or alter your response to it.
If
it’s external stress, look for ways to avoid it by having friends
or family handle it for you. Wedding delegation is a healthy way to
handle stressful tasks and it will give you peace by allowing friends
and family to help you. It is important to release or alter any
external source of stress until it’s no longer manifesting stress.
If
your stress comes from internal thoughts, feeling or your reaction to
stress then you need to change that reaction. It sounds obvious but
comes down to a hard choice of either making it work for you or
eliminating the thought, feeling, person or thing making you feel
stressed.
De-stress
your day-to-day routine. Get
rid of anything that brings you stress in your normal life. Abolish
TV, avoid stressful new stories, cut down your commuting time and
pare down anything else in your life that gives you stress.
If
you can’t change a person or situation, accept it and move on.
During
your wedding planning there will be certain people and situations
that consistently bring you stress. Delegate contact or avoid them
at all costs, this is the perfect opportunity to allow a close
friend to run interference for you.
Be
willing to compromise your choices to eliminate it as a stress.
But at the same time determine whether you have not been assertive
enough and see if you can get what you need and not be pushed into
things you do not want. Say No!
Teach
yourself to relax! Use
meditation and yoga to relax your mind and give your life more
balance. Incorporating these wellness tools is critical now but will
continue to be important for the rest of your life.
Get
a massage. Go
to Joy of Spa and search for a massage therapist or day spa in your
area and make an appointment. Massage therapy can serve as a refuge
during stressful wedding planning moments.
It is
an opportunity for self-care and can provide you with a bit of
relaxation during hectic times.
See
the positive.
It is so important to see the positive in these life situations and
remember the “big picture.” All this planning will culminate
into a special day for your and your partner. It is so important to
enjoy the journey as well as the wedding.
This
is your wedding; your life with your partner and the wedding is just
the beginning of a happy life together. Reframing stress in a
positive way will help you enjoy the wedding planning and reign as the
calm and beautiful bride on your special day.
